Wednesday, January 12, 2011

january 12

omg it is COLD outside...5 degrees!!  have i mentioned lately how much i hate winter.

i have been having insomnia lately - havent had that in years!  at least 3-4 years.  every freakin morning about 3am i wake up and my mind is just a flurry of thoughts and i cant seem to quiet it.  like this morning i was thinking if anyone else did this to themselves - you know how when you get "sort of" close to your goal weight your mind really starts to fuck with you and basically makes you think you dont deserve to be at your goal weight because that will mean you have succeeded at something and therefore 'deserve" it when the other thoughts you have constantly tell you that you are worthless, fat, ugly and dont deserve any kind of success or anything then you sabotage your own success by getting fatter and the cycle continues. 

yeah, thats what i was thinking at 3am this morning, nice huh?


  1. im sorry youre mind wont shutup so you can sleep.
    youre defintly none of those things, pretty girl. dont say that to yourself.


  2. my mindnever shut sp so i know how u feel hun